, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It’s your life.” This is one of my favorite quotes from, Ethan Embry.

For many people it is very difficult to not hold someone else responsible for their own happiness. You would not want to be responsible for someone else’s so why should you hold another responsible?

Life is full of challenges and this will be one of them but in the end I can almost guarantee that it will be worth it for you and those around you.

At this very moment I want you make the commitment that you are going to take responsibility for your own happiness. Realize that this will not be easy and it will be challenging for you.

I want you to now imagine that no one on earth is responsible for you or your happiness but you. Nothing can affect it but you. It has been, is and always will be within you. You were born with it. No event or person on earth can change this happiness, not your spouse or partner, not your children, not your manager, no one! Now as you imagine this I want you to dwell on the feeling that this gives you and the possibilities. How does it feel? I can bet you feel stronger and at peace. This feeling you have at this moment you can have always and during all moments of your life. Why? Well because there is no need to imagine it fore it is a reality. The thing that changes is your way of thinking and your response to the external world around you. It is these that affect your happiness and well-being.

I speak often of connections and the affect that we each have on each other. When one person acts, we each react based on our histories and our own thoughts at that moment. You react every second of every day to tone, facial expressions, body language and the environment you are in. The majority of our days are in response to external factors and others behaviors.  You have probably let your reactions define your happiness without you even realizing it. You do not need to let this happen and if you think about it, it is a waste of energy. You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t do this but I know other people that do.”  I have news for you, everyone does this. What makes the difference is that some people are aware of it. You know when you are aware of something your response and thoughts on the events change for the better and for those around you. You are able to keep your thoughts and other people’s reactions and actions in perspective. I want to share with you now some things that I do to help me keep things in so sort of perspective. Maybe as you read these you may find some things that my help you.

  1. Visualization and Meditation (My Zen Moments) – I start my days visualizing. You may call it meditation but I would like you to give it some thought and a try. You begin by finding YOUR place. A place that you feel the most comfortable and that brings you peace. I like to sit out back on my porch in the early hours with the sun coming up. The birds are flying from tree to tree and singing their good morning to the Universe. The wind is usually blowing and you can hear the trees moving back and forth and the leaves bristling. I will sit there and focus my attention only on the sounds of nature and nothing else. I let my mind go and be with all that I hear. I then begin to pull in my day and to feel the emotions that I want to be part of my day. I do not review the events of the day but only on how I want to feel during it and at the end of it. I concentrate only on me and let all other things go until I am satisfied and at peace. As I open my eyes I say to myself, “today is a good day.”  I have learned to not go over any details of the day just general events that are planed but you must concentrate on only the emotional aspect as you travel the day I your mind. Always do this in the mornings and make it a habit.
  2. Have no Expectations – You know those expectations you have for just about everything in your life? Those expectations you have placed on others? I want you to ball them up in one thought and throw them out the window!  From this point on in your life, punish no one! Do not use anger, looks, gestures or even silence. Do not force YOUR expectations of others on them. They have their own for themselves. If you do continue you will, as you have in the past, set yourself and others up for disappointment. Think of this, you have these expectations of others but how often, unless they are your children, have you communicated these expectations to the ones you’re focused on? Probably very few times if at all. Unless you or others can read minds, this is wasted.
  3. Why be Resentful – Do you do things that you hate and then continue to resent doing them?  Are you working at a job you hate or resent? Well if you are , why are YOU still there? It’s not the companies fault if your still there. We are all born with free will and we all have a choice. Look at what you have, your health, your job, your family and your life in general. Make the change that YOU need to make and move on and don’t look back. It may be hard but it is so worth it in the end for all that your connected to.
  4. Too Much Bad News – Are you tired of all the negativity we hear and see each day. How many news stations show anything other than good news? NONE! I would bet that over 90% of what we see and read in news is negative and that about 99.9% of what we see that affects us is out of our control to do anything about. Well then, if we can’t do anything about it then do not watch it. Focus on the things you can do something about in your home, your community and your life. Start a blog for good news only. I can bet that if the world is going to end or something major is fixing to happen, you will know. We made it before TV and the printed word so get back to the basics of life and LIVE!

So get out and make some changes and LIVE and be responsible for your own happiness. If you do I promise that it is contagious and that you will begin to see changes in your life you have never imagined.