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Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him. – Louis L’Amour
Anger hurts more people and alters the course of more lives thank you could ever imagine, every day. How do you respond when you angry? Do you even remember why you were angry in the first place? Anger can be a very good tool while at the same time it can also be the worst thing in our lives. When anger is in full force we have so much power within to do well or to do negative. It is how we use this anger and how we communicate during the process that makes the difference as to the end result for you and for those that you are connected to.
Over the years I have developed different ways of dealing with anger and it always depends on the event on how I respond. Below I want to share with you 10 ways on dealing with and turning anger into a positive:
How many times have you said something during an argument that you know you never would have said otherwise? If you are like me it is probably more times than you care to remember. When we speak out of anger we usually make the situation worse and the other individuals will respond in-kind. All that this does is cause the situation to spiral to something you have no control over and there is no recovering from at the time. The key is to remain silent if at all possible. When I say silent I mean outwardly. This can give you time to process and to respond at a point when the anger is subsiding and when you have control of your words and not your anger.
Respond not to the anger maker
Throughout the whole of our lives and no matter how good of a person we are and the good that we do there are those that take pleasure in making others mad. They feed upon it. Just like any conflict if you remove a response to one party or the other the situation usually dies down. Do not lower yourself to their level by responding. That is what they usually want. Their actions or words will have no effect. All actions have an equal reaction. Don’t give into it and the other person will usually let it and you be.
Reason vs. Anger
Each of us can feel anger beginning before it comes to the surface. When we feel it coming we should all take a step back and think and ask ourselves, “what benefit will me getting angry have for me or will it even help my situation?” Nine times out of ten the answer is no to any part of the question. We may remain angry but during this process we have muted it.
Love and Respect All
Sometimes the situation calls for something a bit different. When you are getting angry, try to see the other person in a different light, such as a young child in your mind’s eye. When we do this our true self comes out and we tend to experience more compassion and forgiveness rather than the anger. I find that this helps with my family when we have moments of anger.
Peace is more valuable than anger
Peace of mind for all of us is very valuable. We all work for it and desire it. We should value this as one of the most important needs we have as a human. If we value peace there is no room for anger. We each at some point will have every right to be angry but realize when we do we give up this valuable thing of ours called our peace of mind.
Sometimes or actually most of the time there is no need for us to respond in the first place, especially in anger. If we can remain at peace during the situation and let them continue, most of the time this alone will lower the others anger. They do this because they begin to feel guilty about venting the way they did and for attacking you. If we can understand them and respond with compassion and understanding they will usually be inspired and seek to do the same.
Focus on being Happy
Sometimes it is better to focus on something happy rather than the event. Our thoughts usually dictate our response to any situation within our lives. If we are negative in thought you will bring this negative to you. If you are happy and positive in thought you will bring this to you as well.
The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.
Very few people do this but meditation is a lost art and cure for a lot of what ailments we have inside. We each should focus on our inner peace to bring this peace to the surface for you as well as for those around you. You begin to be what you think as well as those around you. Try to meditate each day on a regular basis. Find your time and your place and your method that is right for you I have been practicing this since I was a child. If you do this you can, over time, draw upon this peace at will.
When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations and give so much.
Each of us has many choices to make each day and with each of these choices comes the chance to do some good or some evil. In the end it is always up to you in how you affect your own life and the lives of those to whom you are connected.