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Tonight I write specifically to an individual and I will not tag them but they will know this is meant for them when they read this and if this is for you as well, then I hope this helps you make the decision you need to make.
We all want our world to be a better place. Some of us want our personal lives to be a better place also, especially if it is a caustic or abusive one. The only way to make any aspect of our lives better is to work to make it better and to change what YOU want and are doing or I should say, NOT DOING!
The way you respond to any event or situation is up to you and not the other person. Just as it is up to them to be the way, they are. The words they may use the actions they may take are theirs alone and not in any way indicative of you as a person. When someone is abusive, they choose to be so, just as YOU need to choose to get out of it.
Yes, you have been searching and hoping for the right relationship but you seem to always jump in and out in your search and yes you have made a few mistakes but no mistake you have made justifies being treated less than you are a human being.
Abusers are weak and thrive on the power that YOU give them by staying and the longer you stay the more difficult it is to get out of it. They become stronger, you become weaker and you begin to believe what they say, and eventually you feel that you deserve to be treated the way you are treated.
In the end how you choose to respond is up to you but consider the result of your delay. What will happen to those that are connected to you if you stay? How will staying change the relationship with the ones that you love with all of your heart? What happens to your children or grandchildren if you get hurt? To not act involves a risk and a very serious one.
Any negative pattern you are in can only continue if you let it! DO NOT LET IT!
Stop the negative pattern, change the momentum, transform your future, and be okay with being alone for a while. Use the power of change that you have within you and change your life to benefit yourself and all of those to whom you are connected to.
With that, goodnight and God bless each of you and all of those to whom you are connected to or will ever be connected to.